RECOGNIZING ANGER What is the way you tend to show anger most often? (Underline or circle below)

Quiet verbal attacks Yelling Physical attacks Passive-aggressive behavior

ROOTS OF ANGER UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS " List some unrealistic expectations you have.________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


 For each of the above, what would realistic expectations look like?_______________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


PAIN FROM PAST EXPERIENCES " List events that you seem to overreact to. __________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ " In what similar way did you experience those reactions when you were growing up or as a traumatic event as an adult?_________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


ACTION STEP 1: RECOGNIZE THE ROOT Make a short list of the things that can get you angry. Jot down next to each what expectation was not met. 1.___________________________________ ___________________________________

2.___________________________________ ___________________________________

3.___________________________________ ___________________________________

4.___________________________________ ___________________________________

5.___________________________________ ___________________________________

Were the expectations realistic? (Yes/No) If not, make a note of what would be realistic.

1.______ ________________________________________________________________

2.______ ________________________________________________________________

3.______ ________________________________________________________________

4.______ ________________________________________________________________

5.______ ________________________________________________________________

Take at least three minutes to picture the each event happening again and you now experiencing it with a realistic expectation.

ACTION STEP 2: IDENTIFY THE PRIMARY EMOTION In order to keep anger at bay, as soon as you feel the first signs of it you need to STOP.

" Look at the pictures and/or the list of emotions. " How many of feelings are you able to experience? " Out of the 62 pictures ___. And/or out of the 176 words _____ " If you can't experience many feelings, spend time on several asking God's help.

If you have a hard time experiencing most emotions, take time

" Out of 10 times you have a "negative" emotion, how many times is it anger? ______ " Out of 10 times when people who influenced your life had a "negative" emotion, how many times was it anger? ______ " What would you have heard from caregivers or friends if growing up you shared feelings from the feeling word list under the categories of panic, sadness, weakness or connecting? _______________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ " How were you "taught" to show anger rather than other emotions at home, or with your friends growing up?________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Growing up, what did you hear and what were you taught that wasn't true or wasn't healthy?__________________________________________________ 1. If you have a hard time experiencing most emotions, take time, ask God to help you feel the feelings you were created to feel. 2. Each time you feel pain, consider whether you experienced similar pain as a child. Say, preferably out loud to yourself. Part of the _______ I feel right now is the way _______is treating me and part of it is because of the way _______ treated me as a child.

ACTION STEP 3: EXPRESS THE PRIMARY EMOTION If your feeling was precipitated by a person that you view as caring and safe, you can share how what they did "made" you feel. Say, "When you _________, I felt _________."

Write down unhappy feeling you remember. Next to it, write down a time when Jesus felt a similar way. 1.__________________________________ __________________________________ 2.__________________________________ __________________________________ 3.__________________________________ __________________________________ 4.__________________________________ __________________________________ 5.__________________________________ __________________________________