19 Minutes

OUTLINE

1.   INTRODUCTION

2.   THE PAST

a.   Regrets are commonly for past actions that resulted in present pain for us or others. We do well to seek wisdom.

b.   We have sinned against God and wish we could, so to speak, take it back. 

c.  Learn From Mistakes

d.  It Was an Accident

e.  Learn from the successes and mistakes of others.  

3.   THE PRESENT

4.   THE FUTURE

Earthly examples are presented because:                                                          .

• If we are not responsible in the earthly realm, we will be less effective in working for God's Kingdom.

• A similar pattern in dealing in the earthly realm usually carries over into the spiritual realm.

Here it is, Paul's example of forward-looking. He knows his past is full of sin. He knows he falls short in the present. He strains and leans forward in the present to what is ahead in his future. Like someone climbing a mountain, each step is work. Each step brings the hiker closer to his goal. He strains with each step, lifting not only his own weight but all he has brought with him higher and higher, closer and closer to his goal. Each moment of our lives is a moment closer to glory in Heaven with God.

When we spend time thinking about our regrets, we wish we could change the past. Here, we will consider the outcome of hypothetically being able to change the past. Hopefully, that will quench any conscious or unconscious lies that may be believed, which results in an unhealthy focus on the past and time spent in regrets. 

Regrets are commonly for past actions that resulted in present pain for us or others. 

In "Knowing God", J.I. Packer stated:

"Those who really know God... never brood on might-have-beens;

 they never think of the things they have missed, only of what they have gained."

It is incredible how many expend so much mental energy wishing to change the unchangeable. Mankind has overcome obstacles nobody would have believed possible in earlier centuries. While jet airplanes and rocket ships are examples of inventions, no matter how far science advances, the past can never be changed.

Even if we could change the past, more problems would arise. Years ago, a movie was about a man who could go into his past. When he saw how certain events in his life resulted in suffering for him or someone he cared about, he returned to a time when he believed the problem started. Each time he made a change, something else bad happened in the new future. 

Changing an event in the past to reduce suffering for oneself or a loved one will have unforeseen consequences. Assume that someone who played the lottery and was one number off but wishes they had won could change the past. The result would be that someone else who won in the "old past" would not win in the new present. Many changes one could make to benefit themselves would, in turn, hurt someone else. We do not know if changing the past to avoid a minor calamity might result in a bigger one in the future. Some of the negative impacts of our choices may not happen until after we have died. We would spend our lives in endless scenarios trying to find the one that causes the least pain.

Even being able to go back to the past and change things would leave us so far short of making a life for us and those around us turn out right. We would have to live hundreds of lives to try to balance what we saw as each positive and negative thing that resulted in everyone's lives being affected by the changes we made. 

Our standards for what is good for ourselves or another person are flawed. Our attempts to reduce suffering for ourselves and those we care about will typically result in weakness rather than the building of personal character and a focus on spiritual things. It is the difficult things, not the easy ones, that give opportunity for personal growth.

We live in a fallen world. Even if we could change the past, we can not fix what is broken. 

God put mankind in the dimension of time for a reason. One way of looking at

wishing we could change the past is that, in reality, we are wishing we could take the place of God.

Even if we could change the past, we lack the intellect to improve it. We fail to have the proper love for everyone involved. We simply need to leave the past in God's hands.

So the next time we think, "If only I had not," instead, learn from our mistake and let the "if only" fade away. It comes down to what God has allowed to happen. God promises that all things will work together for good, and that includes the past, present, and future. God is timeless.

God has our past, present, and future in His hands.  

We have sinned against God and wish we could, so to speak, take it back. 

It is a good thing to regret having sinned against God. It shows a good heart toward God. We are told what to do with that sin.

1. Confess it!  "I did ____ and it was wrong." 

   • "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."                                                                                                         1 John 1:9

2. Know that our past sins, and

   all sins we've committed, are in the past, do not at all change God's plan or purpose.

   Think about it. Are we really capable of changing the plan of God? 

   • "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"                                                        Num 23:19

3. Sometimes we might regret what we see as a "bad" sin. It may be helpful to realize that one sin is not worse than another because all types of sin put Jesus on the cross. All of our sins are completely paid for and completely forgiven. 

4. We are all flawed.

   "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"                  Rom 7:24

   We are all wretched. Confession is admitting that what we have done is wrong. Paul gives the example of admitting it.  As soon as he does, he looks forward, forward to when he will no longer be flawed. We should grow tired of our sins, tired of being flawed, falling short.

   God wants our attention on the present and the future He has prepared for us

   where we will no longer be flawed.

   "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."              1 John 3:2

5. As with all other actions we regret in our past, our energy is wasted on regrets. It needs to be focused on what led us to that sin and our commitment to do our best in the future to walk in the Spirit as much as we can. 

   "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."            Gal 5:16

6. We can turn our past sins into a present sacrifice pleasing God by coming to God with a broken and contrite heart of repentance.

Learn From Mistakes

The whole concept of experimentation that has resulted in scientific achievements is based on the idea that scientists learn from their mistakes. Experiments would not be needed if they could get it right the first time. Inventing what has never been made before often requires mistakes. The mistakes are all in the past. For advancement to happen, inventors must learn from the past. They learn what does not work, and that reduces the possibilities of what might work.

For individuals to grow, they must learn from their own pasts.

It is the only thing that can be done with the past, and it must be done.

Unless we learn from our past mistakes, we are almost sure to repeat them. Much of the time, if mental effort is applied, learning from the past is easy. For example:

We walked away from something on the stove, and dinner got burned. We learned that it is best to set a timer if we step away from the stove. 

Many people don't consider the more challenging part of learning.

Most of the time, there is a deeper lesson, and it is essential to learn it.

In the above example, we could realize that we can be distracted.  

When we learn about ourselves and what we may have done that resulted in an undesirable outcome, we build a better foundation that will help us avoid not just that mistake but similar mistakes. For example, if we learn not only to set a timer but also to realize we can be easily distracted even when performing an important task, we will know to set a reminder for many things, not just when cooking. 

Some people do not learn from their mistakes for many reasons. When they made mistakes as children, the consequences were emotionally painful.

If their parents treated them with anger, as adults, they may equate making mistakes with pain. 

Their parents associated their mistakes with their being bad. That can result in some people's identities tying their performance to their value. Pain is associated with admitting mistakes.

Since admitting a mistake may be very uncomfortable,

one may deny having done so, blame someone else, or say it wasn't a mistake,

 but perhaps just an accident.

It Was an Accident

It is a common excuse that results in an inability to learn from mistakes: "It was an accident."

Accidents are rarely the cause of failures. 

Car "accidents" are seldom "accidents." They almost always involve one or more drivers who do not drive carefully. For something to be an accident, it should be unforeseeable and, for the most part, unavoidable. Hitting a boulder that just rolled into the road, or an animal that just darted out, are examples of what could genuinely be called an "accident." These are good questions to ask oneself when calling a failure a mistake:

1. Would other people be able to avoid what just happened to me?

2. Is there something different about me that kept me from being like most people, so it was still an accident for me? 

3. Is there anything I could have done differently, moved slower, or paid more attention to avoid what happened?

One might think it is silly to do this exercise as an adult. "What is the big deal?" An example of a mistake that catches many off guard is "accidental" falling.  This is true especially for the elderly. They may stumble and brush it off as an "accident" when in reality, due to aging, they are slowly losing their balance. Rather than thinking about the cause of the stumble, it is called and seen as an accident. If not ignored, those struggling with balance could improve it through exercise.  "Accidental" falls plague the elderly, and many are life-changing. Failure to ask similar questions to those above can have catastrophic consequences for our lives.

If we have difficulty admitting mistakes or being wrong, it is best to identify why it may be problematic. Seek the truth. The truth is that our identity has been given to us by God. We are a child of God first.

We cannot increase or decrease our value by anything we do or by anything we do not do. 

Let's bring this back to sin, i.e., missing the mark, mistakes we make in our relationship to God.  

• Sin is not an "accident."

• Sin is not justifiable.

• Sin can't be blamed on others or anything else.

• Sin doesn't only fall under the 10 Commandments.

• Sin may be covered by the two great commandments, which summarize the law and the prophets: love God and love others.

• Sin may fall under the command that can "haunt" us and prove us guilty nearly daily.

•  

  "Everyone who knows the good he ought to do but doesn't do it, sins."                        James 4:17

  If we don't find ourselves breaking this one, we may be insensitive to the needs of others.

We are all flawed humans. God loves us as we are (Five Ways God Loves Us). Nothing we can do can make us more valuable or less valuable in His sight; that is all that matters. 

• Accept the flawed nature. 

• Confess the sin. 

• Repent.

• Learn how to avoid the sin.

• Move on in victory. 

Analyzing our earthly mistakes is not all that different from considering our sins. An example could be speaking rudely to someone. We could make all kinds of excuses:

• They had it coming because of their behavior.

• We were tired. 

• Everyone does it.

• We are only human.

Rather than making excuses for our actions, we should confess the sin to the person and God and try not to do so in the future. Just like the above earthly example, it is good to ask for wisdom about the deeper issue.

Pride: 

• We see ourselves as superior to others, which gives us the right to be rude.

• We see ourselves as being above the way they acted when we were rude.

Focus: 

• Is our focus on being the best son or daughter of Christ?  

• Is it on being God's ambassador to the unbeliever or one who tries to build up the other believer? 

•   Are we walking in the Spirit? 

  "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."             Gal 5:16

• Have we spent time alone with the Lord and communicated with Him during the day?

If these things aren't in place, they are the deeper, more fundamental issues that resulted in our rudeness. Confess the deeper issue to the Lord. Perhaps ask another believer how we can overcome those things. The Foundation, "It's not about you; it's about God," helps refocus.

Learn from the successes and mistakes of others.  

We are warned to avoid pitfalls by those wiser than us and by seeing the result of the mistakes of others. Scripture is clear that the lessons and history are examples for us to learn from. We need to heed the warnings. We are happy to rest on the experience of others when we travel in a car or airplane. Indeed, we wouldn't want to try to build anything from scratch when something that works so much better is available. And yet, with much more important things, such as our relationship with God and others, we live much of the time as if starting from scratch, and figuring it out on our own is a viable way to live life. Step back and think about how much value we give to Scripture and wise, godly people to guide us in our lives.

The present is less complex but more challenging to master. The present is the moment we are in. The shorter the time frame we can think in, the better. If we can get to the place where we are just thinking in the very moment, the one second, we can learn to live in the moment rather than the past or the future. If this is difficult, we can start by committing to not thinking of anything other than what has happened or what we believe will happen on that particular day. The Bible says,

We can think of everything about "this day" that we consider good. Thank God for those things. Think about the things that we would consider bad. Then consider how God turns bad into good. Think about whether or not what we see as bad has to do with discipline because God disciplines those he loves. (Heb 12:6)  Is there something that God is teaching us through it? God has a purpose for us. If our mind is focused on serving God and doing His will, then our day can be directed by those thoughts that come into our minds, directing us to His will. If our mind is elsewhere, on our own plans, God may be using the difficulty to redirect us back to what he wants, which is also our best.

Each day, each moment, is a gift. The Lord made that moment.

We are given this moment to live for Christ.

The gift of this moment does not depend on our past but on God. God wants us to seek Him, thank Him, and be joyful in the gift of our salvation. He wants us to love Him and others in this moment.

Just keep doing our best

There are lyrics in an old Keith Green song. Just keep doing your best, pray that it's blessed, and God will take care of the rest. 

He may have devised that phrase by putting these two verses together.

• "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,"        Col 3:23 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."      Rom 8:28

Worry: The present may indicate that the future will be emotionally or physically painful. Many people worry about what they expect the future to bring. Worrying in itself doesn't help anything. In fact, it takes away time that is better used considering solutions that may make the future less painful.

It runs our present because by worrying, we experience emotional pain in the present. 

When we worry, we do not trust God. The Foundation, God's Love and Power, covers worrying.

There are two aspects to consider regarding the future. One is that what we do in the present has a good chance of impacting our future.  

There is a science for what might happen in the future. Insurance actuaries and odds makers for all kinds of sporting events compute the chances of different events happening. People who invest in the stock market do the same thing. The point is that none of them know. Nobody expected 9/11. Nobody expected COVID-19. 9/11 had a significant impact on financial markets and the lives of some people. COVID-19 had an impact on almost everybody. 

The Bible says it is boastful to make plans without including that God is sovereign over those plans. It is considered boastful to plan the future without understanding and having an ongoing attitude that the plans will only come to fruition if it is the Lord's will.

Sadly, some people believe they know what will happen tomorrow or at a future time in their lives. We can be lulled into thinking everything will continue as we expect, much like a cow wanders through life blissfully until the day of its slaughter.  Whereas some may find that a strange analogy, consider that God takes it much further when we are referred to as a mist, perhaps as fleeting as a bit of steam hovering over the top of a hot drink on a cold day. It is profitable to consider that nobody knows the day of their death ahead of time. We can take the best care of our bodies, and an accident or natural disaster can end our lives in a moment. In our minds, our lives can seem very long. A 10-year-old child can look at someone who is 20, which seems like a lifetime apart. An 80-year-old can look at someone 90 and know it is only 10 summers away if they make it that far. 

We would do well to know, every day, every moment,

how fleeting not only our lives are but also our plans.

Our lives are held in God's hands, every molecule. Our futures are also in His hands. Thinking inconsistently with God being in control results in many problems, the most important of which is pride. The verse following the above passage is

God comes right out, calling it boasting if we think we can run our future. There is no mistake about its importance as He finishes up calling it "evil."  We would be very wise to reconsider our attitude about our plans. Are we really trusting God for the outcome? 

When we trust God for the future and that future one day becomes the present, and it doesn't turn out as we planned or expected, we can fret about it.  Or, if our attitude is in line with the above passage, we can trust that this was the future that God had in mind. God wants us to trust Him for our future.

Planning is prudent. The Bible talks about the importance of planning as "even the ants store up in the summer for the winter." (Prov 6:6-8) Planning with a mindset of a specific outcome is boastful and, hence, sinful. It is prideful for us to believe we have control over our future. It is wrong to think that doing particular things now will guarantee any future event.

It is boastful because it acts as if God is not in control, which is a lie. Satan can use this lie to discourage us. We can make a plan for the future and do all the work, but it does not turn out, and we go to God wondering how He could not have rewarded us for our hard work. The truth is,

He never guaranteed to reward us in the same manner as the work we do.

We are to work hard for the Lord, not for men. It is Christ Jesus we are serving. Our reward will be in heaven. Col 3:23-24) Now that is a future we can have confidence in!

Faith is being sure of what is not yet seen.  We either believe (put our full confidence in) the promise of God for our future, or we stay lost in the lie that the future is either random, in our control, or is controlled by others. There are no other options. Who is more trustworthy?  Have we proved ourselves trustworthy enough to affect the future? If not, and since there isn't anyone else out there who can guarantee a particular future, there is no other choice but to trust the Creator.

Our job is to be responsible now and always know that no matter how much we plan, the future is always in God's hands. The concept of long-term thinking is covered in more detail in the Foundation:  The deception in our lives most often comes from worldly thinking.

The inverse of planning with certainty is worry. In one sense, they are similar because both suppose a particular present will result in a specific future. 

In general, the trendline of the past carries on into the future. We are all getting older. As we do, we become more frail. At some point, we will die. So, how are we to view such a dismal future?

This passage speaks for itself.

Two pathways will help us achieve victory over our view of the future. 

One is to identify and admit our complete inability to control even what will happen later in the day. Catastrophe could be around the corner, just moments away. People who do their very best to take care of their bodies can end up with fatal illnesses that kill them in a very short time at a young age. Car accidents can result in life-changing injuries or death. Houses burn down, and people who are close to us die. It can happen in an instant. We are frail people, and we need to admit that. In God's eyes, we are like a mist. We have no power over 5 minutes from now. 

The second part of victory is to know the power of God and the love of God. He knows the end from the beginning. He is the beginning and the end. 

The goal is that we meditate on truth. Even if there were no God, we still wouldn't have control over the future. We may only be able to improve our odds of what we see as a good life. The truth is that not only is there a God, but

there is a personal God who loves us and has called us his children,

and He has shown so much love to his children. He has our future in His hands. Whereas the earthly future is unknown, our Heavenly future is promised to be beyond anything we can imagine! 

So, again in summary, all we can do with the past is to learn from it, and we must learn from it. All we can do with the future is to trust God, and we are to glorify God in the present. 

An additional resource about how we view the future, along with an abundance of Bible references, can be found at Bible Reasons.